Battling Bare

I want to introduce everyone to Ashley the wife of former Marine/current US Army Soldier, SSG Robert Wise,  and founder of Battling Bare, Inc. An Army wife for over ten years cumulatively, Ashley currently resides in Fort Campbell, Kentucky where her husband is cadre for the Warrior Transition Battalion.

Ashley’s mission with her new non-profit is to support, encourage and motivate family members, especially wives/fiances/girlfriends, of soldiers who struggle with PTSD to know that they are not alone, they can fight back and there is support.

TAS: Ashley, Would you tell us about your experience as a Military Wife?

Ashley :  My story is a bit of a crazy one. Most of my time as a military spouse has been spent at Fort Lewis, Washington where both my first husband and Rob were assigned to 2-3 Infantry during the dawn of the Stryker. My first husband was a victim of a non-combat related civilian sector incident, and I found  myself a widow at the age of 21 with a 13 month old and 3 year old child. During that part of my life, I decided I would overcome and turn my hurt, pain and anger into something good. At that point, I didn’t know what that “good thing” was, but after marrying my soulmate, Rob, and seeing his struggles with everything he’s seen during his multiple combat deployments—both with the Marine Corps and the Army—it became very clear that helping soldiers to heal invisible wounds after returning home from war AND creating a true support system for spouses, especially wives, who ride the PTSD roller coaster along with their soldier was exactly that “good thing”.

TAS: So, exactly where did the idea for BB come from?

ASH: Well, Fort Campbell currently has the highest soldier suicide rate in the Army, just like they did back in 2009, because all our guys are home from deployment. Over the last 60 days, more than 30 soldiers have decided to end their lives—in fact, the US National statistic is that 18 veterans a day choose to end their own lives. Our guys were dropping like flies—some of them ending their wives lives in the process. My good friend and Battling Bare helper, Christy,  kept saying to each other—we have to do something….this is crazy. During that time, a friend’s husband killed himself and my husband lost one of his own guys. The weekend he left to escort this guy’s body to the funeral, I was sitting on my porch and it hit me..the picture, the name, the pledge...everything.  So, we snapped the shot, edited it a little and posted it to Facebook. It’s just taken off from there.

TAS: The photo for BB is pretty powerful. Does it symbolize anything and is that you in the photo?

ASH: The photo is supposed to symbolize making visible these invisible wounds in a way that forces people to pay attention. The M4 is the most commonly used weapon by our combat arms guys—my husband has hauled one of those bad boys around A LOT…so it symbolizes my hubby and soldiers in general. And being bare…well, for so long many, many wives have kept their mouths shut regarding the night terrors, the isolation, the inability to even go on a date because of crowds in public—hiding the truth for fear of tarnishing the military careers of the soldiers they love so much. So, I went bare—showing that we have nothing to hide. Our husbands, boy friends, fiance’s are NOT monsters—their wounded to their very core because of all the horrible things they have seen. There is also a lot of shame or embarrassment associated with PTSD and being naked—so in a lot of ways it’s saying that I am not ashamed to go bare to make people aware and take action.

#4 TAS: What is your vision—what do you hope to accomplish with BB?

ASH: The mission of Battling Bare is unite spouses who have silently struggled with helping their soldiers cope for so long—for them to know that they are not alone. While reaching out to these spouses, we will be increasing awareness and educating others about the symptoms of PTSD, successful options for healing for the soldier and creating a system of support for these spouses. I realize that there are mothers, children—families of soldiers—that need support as well and I encourage them to join us because they have struggled right along with us, but as a spouse, I will say in loving our soldiers—pouring our hearts and souls into our marriages/relationships—is the most difficult and unique struggle of any of the relationships because we CHOOSE to love them unconditionally. Our love isn’t the inherent love of family…it’s a daily choice.

#5 TAS: Your image for BB is pretty edgy and pushing people outside of comfort zones. What is your response to any negative responses?

ASH: Think what you want, I’m driving on. This issue is reaching epidemic levels—every 80 minutes a veteran—active, retired, disabled and discharged included—who chooses to end their own life. Many of these deaths are related to the horrible memories of war haunting them every moment of every day. I’m not going to stand by and let another soldier suffer silently or choose to die without putting up one heck of a fight. If that makes someone uncomfortable so be it—I have to live by my philosophy of life: “Whenever possible—leave things better than you found them”. Personally, I feel if more folks had that take on  life this world would be a much better place.

# 6 TAS: If BB could tell our page members or anyone who reads this article one thing, what would it be?

ASH: Spouses, you are NOT ALONE, crazy, codependent or weak. You are amazing and I urge you, plead with you, beg you to not give up hope for peace and joy again. Just like when our soldiers tell us “You just don’t understand” because we’ve never been to war—we can say that to civilian spouses. Though I haven’t walked the exact same miles you all have, I do understand because I’ve walked those miles…even the “widow walk” miles, as I call them. Let’s join together—we are STRONG. We are MANY. Together we CAN make a difference. I choose to break the silence and Battle Bare. Join me?

Check out Battling Bare on Facebook