My battle with PTSD

I wanted to share with everyone why my new project “Operation You’re Not Alone” means so much to me personally. I decided to write this up after receiving an email from someone saying “You have no idea what it’s like to have PTSD who made you an expert?” well I don't claim to be an expert on anything but I felt the need to share this with you all.

I have been doing efforts to support soldiers since 2007 and have met a lot of our men and women online and in person. I have spent many nights on the phone until late hours of the morning just talking to them as they know they can talk to me in confidence and not worry about me posting names or any information publicly on here or Face Book.

as you may or may not know in 1994 I was attacked by three guys in Ottawa, Ontario and stabbed thirteen times – 11 times on my back and twice on my upper leg which still affects me to this day. The three guys that attacked me were of Somalian background and for many years after this happened when I would see people of that decent even though I knew it was just three guys I would get filled with anger and not know what to do with myself.

It got to so bad that on occasion if I was on public transit and any Somalians got on the train I would almost have a panic attack and would get off at the next stop and get on another train.
I thought I was fine and didn’t think I needed help for it but two years ago I finally had enough and it was through talking with a soldier about how he was going through the same situation when he would be driving down the road here in Canada and see an old beat up white pick up truck he would go another route or pull off the road.

I am not by any means comparing what I went through to what our troops go through but I do know what it’s like to carry something around in side with you for a long time and damage it can do.

I saw someone on a regular basis for almost two years and now am fine and have gotten rid of all my anger towards that event and think about all the positives that have come from it.
“Operation You’re Not Alone” is only a few days old, and someone said to me last night, “Your YouTube video only has 1300 views are you disappointed?”

My answer to that is “No” I have already connected over forty soldiers together via email address in confidentiality and have gotten emails from soldiers who have been through it send me their emails to give out to anyone seeking help, that to me has already made it a success whether it stays at 1300 views or gets 1.5 million views.

It has also helped me tell my story about my battle I went through in my mind for the last eleven years and typing out this blog is probably one of the hardest one’s I’ve ever written but if it helps others, then it will have served a purpose.

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